May is Mental Health Awareness Month: Here’s a Look at Why Emotional Wellbeing Matters in Leadership
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, an important reminder to pause, reflect, and talk openly about mental health and wellbeing. It is a time to recognize the often invisible toll that mental illness takes on people’s lives.
While mental health generally refers to our overall psychological state—including conditions such as anxiety, depression, or burnout—emotional wellbeing relates more specifically to our ability to manage and express our feelings, build resilience, and navigate emotional challenges effectively. In this newsletter, I use these terms intentionally: addressing mental health broadly while providing specific strategies for enhancing your emotional wellbeing in boardroom settings.
The Hidden Toll of Being “The Only One”
For Indigenous and equity-deserving board members and senior leaders, mental health issues are compounded by the challenge of being the “only one” in the room. You often have to disguise your true selves to fit into the dominant culture.
When you are the only one, or amongst a few, in your organization, the toll is different. In addition to your role as a leader, you are holding space for equity, navigating coded resistance, and often doing the unspoken work of making others feel comfortable. You are expected to speak on behalf of your community. And you are expected to stay calm while doing so.
This comes with a high emotional cost, especially when your experiences or perspectives are repeatedly questioned or dismissed. The emotional toll can include anxiety, frustration, burnout, and even a sense of invisibility.
Recognizing this dynamic is critical. Naming it openly is liberating.
In this newsletter, I want to explore how you can protect your emotional wellbeing in the boardroom, particularly through the framework of Nonviolent Communication, developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.
This approach includes four components: observation, feelings, needs, and requests.
Why Nonviolent Communication?
Nonviolent communication, also referred to as Compassionate Communication, values human connection and empathy. It teaches us to recognize the feelings and needs behind each statement without judgment or criticism. When we approach conversations in this manner, we greatly reduce defensiveness, resentment and misunderstanding.
We communicate in a manner that promotes rather than discourages connection. We focus first on building this connection before looking for a solution or outcome.
Challenges in the boardroom can take many forms. Sometimes it is passive, like being consistently interrupted or having your contributions overlooked. Other times, it is overt, such as openly questioning your expertise or authority. As Indigenous and equity-deserving leaders, addressing these dynamics demands courage. But courage alone is not enough; protecting your emotional wellbeing requires intentional care and compassionate communication.
In my work with organizations, I often speak about courageous conversations. These are not easy discussions. They challenge leaders to address uncomfortable truths while preserving relationships and safeguarding their wellbeing. Nonviolent Communication, involving observation, feelings, needs, and requests, is a critical approach to support these conversations.
Protecting Your Mental Health through Nonviolent Communication
1. Observation without evaluation
An observation is a neutral assessment of a situation, free from evaluation. An evaluation involves judgment, criticism or labeling which leads people to become defensive, resentful and resist what we are trying to communicate.
To create human connection, we need to separate observation from evaluation. One way to do so is to focus the conversation on specific behaviours you observe rather than making generalized statements. Resist the urge to interpret or label motives. In short, stick to facts.
Instead of: “You keep ignoring the suggestions I raise in our board meetings!”
Make an observation specific to time and context: “In our meeting on Tuesday, I noticed that when I shared my recommendation on the strategic plan, the conversation moved forward without acknowledging what I had said.”
💡 Mental Health Tip: Observing without evaluation can reduce stress because it keeps the conversation factual and manageable. It also prevents you from carrying the emotional burden of interpreting, and perhaps internalizing, other people’s intentions.
2. Express Feelings
Express your feelings clearly and authentically in relation to what you are observing. This sounds easy but we often communicate using the phrase “I feel” without actually communicating a feeling. This is because many of us struggle articulating our feelings.
We need to distinguish feelings from thoughts.
Instead of “I feel ignored” or “I feel silenced”, which express thoughts, and attributes responsibility to another person’s actions.
Express your feelings by using words that refer to specific emotions: “I feel frustrated” or “I feel discouraged.”
💡 Mental Health Tip: Naming your feelings openly helps prevent emotional buildup and strengthens your self-awareness, allowing you to identify your emotional needs clearly and respond proactively.
3. Communicate Your Needs
We all have needs, values, desires, that create our feelings. However, we often don’t know what our needs are. In addition, we may express our needs through criticisms or judgment, which makes people defensive and can shut down dialogue.
We can be more effective if we connect our feelings to our specific needs in the moment. This enables others to truly listen to us and respond with compassion.
Clearly articulate what you need in order to engage meaningfully. Identify and communicate your needs as fundamental expectations. For example: “I need to feel confident that my perspectives are acknowledged and considered when I contribute to board discussions.”
💡 Mental Health Tip: When your needs are explicit, it clarifies expectations and reduces ambiguity. This clarity can mitigate anxiety and feelings of helplessness or frustration.
4. Make a Request
Once we have identified our needs, we need to make specific, achievable requests to others to fulfill these needs. A request should be concrete and positive, something that someone can take to help meet the need.
We need to be clear and direct, and we also need to avoid making a demand. A request is distinct from a demand because a request offers the recipient the options of saying “yes”, “no” or negotiating the request.
Instead of “You need to stop ignoring my input during our meetings,” which lands as a demand…
Frame the issue as a request: “Could we make a point of explicitly acknowledging each person’s contributions before moving on to another topic?”
💡 Mental Health Tip: Specific requests help clarify boundaries and expectations. This contributes to a sense of empowerment and control over your environment, crucial for your emotional wellbeing.
Final Thoughts
Vietnamese monk and peace activist, Thich Nhat Hanh, once wrote, “Before we can listen to another person well, we need to spend time listening to ourselves.” However, when we try to listen, our emotions may get the best of us, preventing us from engaging in meaningful dialogue. According to Thich Nhat Hanh, “We should be able to sit with ourselves, come home to ourselves, and listen to what emotions are rising up, without judging or interrupting them.”
Using the four components of Nonviolent Communication—observing without evaluation, expressing our feelings authentically, clearly communicating our needs, and making actionable requests—we reconnect deeply with our own emotions and needs. This creates deeper connection, empathy and compassion with others.
Deepening our self-awareness allows us to recognize and address our emotional wellbeing proactively, providing a foundation for emotional safety and resilience in the boardroom.
Only then can we listen effectively to others.
These four components of conversation have empowered me to lead difficult conversations while also protecting my emotional wellbeing. They have allowed me to remain clear, compassionate, and grounded, even when faced with resistance or other challenging situations.
Leading Courageous Conversations on Divisive Issues
Interested in learning how to apply these strategies in your leadership role?
Join me on May 29, 2025 at 1:00 PM for Leading Courageous Conversations on Divisive Issues. In this interactive session, you will learn to:
- Identify factors fuelling polarization and foster open, honest dialogue
- Deepen conversations by expressing feelings and needs clearly
- Equip your board and leadership team with tools to navigate divisive topics constructively
- Build a culture rooted in respect, trust, and psychological safety
Interested in a custom session for your board or leadership team? You can also book a virtual or in-person workshop tailored to your organization’s needs.
Final Thoughts on Mental Health in the Boardroom
By protecting our emotional wellbeing, we not only sustain ourselves—we create the conditions for deeper connection, empathy, and transformative leadership. Mental Health Awareness Month reminds us: leadership without self-care is unsustainable. Let’s prioritize our emotional wellbeing, for ourselves and those we lead.
